I’m thoroughly enjoying a much needed vacation this week!  I do enjoy blogging very much, but haven’t had as much time as I’d like to do it lately, with the end of the spring semester and all.  I ended up passing both of my classes with flying colors, though, another semester closer to done!

I want to keep it little bit light-hearted today, in honor of my time off, so I want to tell you a funny story.  You know I’ve been talking lately about objectification, about “I-it” and “I-thou”.  I-it relationships are where we value others based on what they can do for us…they are objects in our lives whose sole purpose is to benefit us.  I-thou relationships value the other person’s feelings, world views, experiences, and love them for who they are, not what they can give us.

I was explaining this very concept lately to someone, and it turned into quite a good chuckle.  I was pointing out how she many times values people for what they can give her, and she said “No, I really don’t, Nancy…well, except for my ex-husband, my ex-boyfriend, and my dad…and….”  I said “OK, so you only objectify those who are closest to you then?”  We laughed.  Then she said, “But they are ‘BAD ITS’!!!!”  I nearly lost it.  That’s probably going to end up on the list of 10 funniest thing I’ve ever heard!

We did certainly have a good laugh over it.  In fact, here on my vacation with my mom and sisters, whenever we see ourselves or someone else objectifying someone, we’ve been saying “Baaad It!”  It’s been the running joke the whole trip!  It’s really helpful, however, to realize how much we do objectify others, develop a keen awareness to it, and to instead choose to love them for who they are, not what they can give us.  If you find yourself being critical, judgemental, harsh, victimy, or otherwise +/- (I’m OK, but you’re a piece of crap) with someone…remember to stop yourself from saying “Bad It”, and instead love them for who they are and how important they are in your life.  It makes all the difference not only in them, but inside you, too!

Back to my vacation!!!!  See you back here again soon.

Nancy Eisenman, MSW, LSW is an individual, marital, and family therapist. She specializes in couples and marriage counseling, individual counseling, group and family counseling. Nancy serves the surrounding areas of Carmel, Westfield, Zionsville, Fishers, and Noblesville. E-Counseling available for residents of Indiana.

©2011, Nancy Eisenman