Mar 19, 2025 | codependency, counterdependency, cut-off, divorce, forgiveness, grace, Marriage Issues, Nancy Eisenman, pain, Relationships, respect
There are consistently couples sitting on my couch that are stuck in the same trap: trying to solve communication problems with problem solving strategies of all kinds. These might be the next best self help book designed to give you (however-many) “steps to better communication with your partner”, something that could be heard on the latest podcast, or the next up-and-coming TikTok content producer. While these little nuggets of information, tools to make life better, have their place in terms of helping couples communicate better, they really don’t get to the heart of the matter.
I was working with a couple recently that was having, of course, communication problems….because every couple I see says that that’s what they have. I have never actually had a client, however, that couldn’t communicate with me, including people that speak English as a second language. Odd right? Why can we communicate just fine with a veritable stranger, but not with our partners, who we have known for quite some time?
The answer lies in the different languages that partners speak without knowing that’s what they’re doing. Because of the very nature of attraction, opposites will attract in terms of relational languages spoken too. The two relational languages are Logic and Feelings. Even if you would consider yourself a mixture of the two, your partner will by nature speak the opposite language from you on any given subject. For example, I make speak logic about money and feelings about family, which means the person I would be attracted to would speak feelings about money and logic about family. They are VERY different languages, and we don’t know we’re not speaking the same one.
In this case, the guy was predominantly logical and his wife mostly a feeler. The guy expressed his frustration at the wife talking about taking a vacation, even though the financial situation didn’t support that possibility. The logic man believed he was being presented with a problem to be solved, and felt disrespected that his wife didn’t see the obvious reality that the money for the vacation she was talking about wasn’t there. He responded to her by explaining, once again, why they couldn’t vacation. Meanwhile, the feelings woman was feeling unheard, misunderstood, and unloved; not because they couldn’t go on vacation, or that there wasn’t enough money, but because she longed for time spent with her husband and was missing him.
These kinds of misunderstandings happen daily with logic and feelings speakers, continuing the process of paper cut (or even stab wound) after paper cut, undermining the feelings of love and respect in the relationship. If you have this going on in your love relationship, it is not something that heals itself. Learning to speak and listen in your partners language as well as your own, and hopefully your partner doing the same, is the key to getting out of these so-called “communication issues.” Becoming bilingual is at the heart of stopping the constant hurts that happen with your partner. We can help. Book an appointment today…don’t wait anymore!
Jan 14, 2020 | Nancy’s Holy Land Trip 2019-20
Our flight left at 6:15am from Tel Aviv. Last glimpses of Israel from the air. We boarded the bus for the airport at midnight and rode for around 2 hours to get there. We went through line after line after line to get through customs and immigration and checking our bags, and blah blah blah. It all went smoothly enough though and we were on time for our boarding.
When we arrived in Vienna we stepped off the plane and immediately into another line to go through another security checkpoint. We waited and waited and managed to get everyone through the checkpoint in time to get directly onto the next plane to Chicago. No bathroom break, no food, just the checkpoint and get on the next plane. Made for a very long flight, and 2 hours longer than on the way to Vienna because we were not having the benefit of the jet stream.
We landed in Chicago and had to leave to get to another terminal, which meant going through security yet again after being received into the country through line after line after line of waiting. It was exhausting. We got to the new terminal and finally got our bags checked and through security. There was enough time between the flights that we got to get some food. We landed back in Indy around 8:30pm, having gained 7 hours on the way.
It was surreal to be back home. I love my own bed! Evan and I slept pretty hard and are now back on our normal sleep schedule OK. I keep dreaming about touring places and I’m confused when I wake up! Tomorrow is back to work. I feel rested and ready and I’m looking forward to it!
A few things that travelers to the Holy Land may want to consider bringing because we found them quite helpful.
- An extra backpack for the day trips
- 2 26oz. Collapsible water bottles each that can clip to you somehow so your hands can be free if needed.
- a wallet you can wear around your neck that holds money, passport, phone, and your room key. Can wear it under your shirt to avoid pickpockets.
- walking sticks for the hiking
- sink formulated tide packets for laundry
- Israel electric plug adapters, not converters.
- snacks for in-between times, in airports or while touring.
- blister remedies and any meds you might need like NyQuil and Advil and tums etc. Several in our crew had tummy issues with the food.
Those are the ones I can think of right off hand. And now, one last thing that I want to remember and the crew that went with me will totally understand….Mike-isms.
- Are you with me?
- Are you with me so far?
- I’m going to give you a prize.
- Good morning America!
- Come on down!
- and not from Mike, but the street vendors, “6 for $20”
Ok, that about wraps it up! If you have questions or comments, please let me know, I’m happy to chat about the trip when I can. Thanks all, for your interest in reading and for all the prayers. Signing off! Peace, or should I say…Shalom. : )
Jan 13, 2020 | Nancy’s Holy Land Trip 2019-20
Last stop on the tour train is Bet She’an. It is the world class in terms of it’s examples of Roman ruins/cities. The city here really is something to see. Pretty amazing. Here is the model of the area.
There is a theatre and a couple of hippodromes just like we saw at Caesarea Maritime. One of the first things we saw was the bathhouse.
These were like pillars that held up a marble floor. A fire was started under the floor so the air could be circulated underneath and the marble floor would warm and ultimately heat the water and cause sauna effects. The slaves tasked with keeping the fire going would enter and exit here.
Quite the sizable bath house and undertaking to run it! Next was the Main Street of the city.
Mosaic tiles near the Main Street beginning.
The pillars have been reset as they were toppled in the 749AD earthquake. The street had been filled with water a day previous from all the rain, but the ancient drainage system had handled it nicely all these years later. The street was higher in the middle than the edges, moving the water to the curbs, into drainage, back to the middle under the street, and then down to the end of the street, all just using gravity to move it. The street was dry.
We could also see the ancient ruins of the time of Saul and Jonathan on top of this green hill.
Some of our crew made the trek up to see it, I did not. All those steps looked like a sure fire way to contract pneumonia to me. Nevertheless, this is where their bodies would have been displayed as it talks about in Scripture.
The folks that excavated this site decided to leave some of the pillars as they were found. These were knocked over in the earthquake.
It was kinda neat to see everything up close and get to touch it.
Column tops and building trim. Such workmanship and artistry.
This would have basically been the main square of town.
Not sure if these would have been entrances to shops or homes. So well preserved.
Pretty impressive.
The fact that all of this tile survives for that many years is crazy.
Very cool.
Original marble.
The gate into the theatre, can see the seating in the back.
All in all, a very interesting and more intact place than any that we saw. Pretty cool. We ate lunch and loaded up the bus to head back to the kibbutz for packing and sleeping, at least for me. Here marks the end of the tour! Thanks all for reading! One more post to put a bow on top…
Jan 13, 2020 | Nancy’s Holy Land Trip 2019-20
You may remember me mentioning Mt Gilboa when we visited Gideon’s Spring. Mt Gilboa is nearby to the spring. This is the mountain above the valley where Saul and David met Goliath and the Philistines. The exact place is not known, but Gideon’s Spring is still there, and so is the mountain. Nearby in Bet She’an where we will go next is where Saul and Jonathan’s bodies were displayed when they were killed. (Ref. 1 Sam 31: 8-10). They were killed on Mt Gilboa.
Eitan said that when David learned of the death of Saul and Jonathan, he cursed the mountain. To this day it is rocky terrain, receives little rain, and struggles to grow even hearty plants and trees. One of our crew caught this picture on the mountain.
It was raining the day we were there, and very windy. One of our crew said something to Eitan about the weather, and he said that according to the curse of David, we must be righteous folks because of the blessing of rain on the mountain while we were there. On the way up the mountain, we saw yet another rainbow.
This was part of the green trail…
And we took a group picture where people go to jump off the mountain with parachutes.
Wow again with the view.
Here is Mt Gilboa. The weather was crummy, but it was worth the ride.
Last stop, Bet She’an.
Jan 13, 2020 | Nancy’s Holy Land Trip 2019-20
What a God-thing. We only got to go to Mt Tabor because of the rain. It really ended up being a special trip. We left on the bus and could see the mountain as we approached.
We drove through a Bedouin town on the way up. Eitan tells us that this particular town is known for something obscure, and he wasn’t kidding. This town has the most Volvo trucks per capita than any other town in the world. OK then. Would not have guessed that one!
The bus was unable to make the turns of the snake trail road to the top of the mountain, so we had to take two van/taxis to the top.
The church to honor where Jesus showed his divinity to Peter, James and John is really cool. In the story, Jesus meets Elijah and Moses there, and there are chapels on either side of the main sanctuary to honor these two pillars of the faith.
The side of the church has an area where you can overlook the valley below. Neat view.
It was cold and rainy, but the view was still pretty spectacular.
Inside above the altar area tells the story. They were having a service so we didn’t get very close but only stayed in the back of the church.
On either side were places to honor Moses and Elijah, and in the back, chapels to honor them as well.
Moses.
And Elijah.
Jerusalem/pilgrim crosses on the beams near the ceiling.
Beautiful columns.
Very cool architecture by Antonio Barluzzi again. He also designed other churches we visited like Dominus Flevit and The Shepherd’s Field etc.
Here’s a commemoration of Barluzzi.
Love the gate ironwork.
There were ruins nearby here, too.
A highlight was a surprise vow remembrance for one of the couples that traveled with us. The hubby conspired with pastor to make it happen in the Elijah chapel. So nice to be a part of a special day for the 20th anniversary of good friends!
Next up, a drive down south to Mt Gilboa.
